Here Comes Goodbye

This is how I am feeling now after this weekend, it is all real to me that I am leaving Atlanta to move back to Tampa. A couple of my good girlfriends took me out to dinner at a wonderful restaurant in Decatur, Wahoo (it was amazing), and then to an amazing Chocolate Bar. It was so sweet of them, Steph and Caroline, you are two beautiful women and are great girlfriends that I could never replace and I will miss you so much. It is so wonderful to have people in your life that truly love and care for you, and you know not just by their actions, but by who they are - beautiful souls. It is a pretty awesome feeling.

I was working to try to get back to Tampa and knew within the year that is probably where I would be, but I really didn't think it would happen so fast. But, it did. So here I am and here comes goodbye to my job, my life in Atlanta, my friends in Atlanta aka the family I have grown to love and care for so much...here it all comes...goodbye.

This is so hard for me, but so happy at the same time. I am a ball of mixed emotions. For five years I have been here in ATL and I have grown into a beautiful person here with the help and guidance of my family and friends here and my job. It was my first job out of college and has meant so much to me and the people at the company mean so much to me too. It was so hard to say I am leaving to move on, to move back to Tampa after 8.5 years of being gone from my immediate family and best friends. It is more than time, but it doesn't make it any easier. I am ready to start this new chapter of my life, a new job at a great company, living with my BFF again, and being close to the family and most importantly be close to my niece Emma. I want to watch her grow into a beautiful little girl. I need to be there for her, for me, for all my family and friends; and while I couldn't be more excited about it, I am so sad to leave all the things here in Atlanta. If I could take it all with me or be in two places at once, I would, but I cannot - none of us can, but realization has set in for me and my friends here in Atlanta and now it is all a reality for my job here too.

I told my boss Friday that I was leaving and I tried so hard to hold it together and not cry, but of course, surprise, surprise I could not hold it all together. I was shaking slightly and crying, telling my pregnant boss I was leaving to move to Tampa with a new career opportunity. I was just hoping she did not go into labor early...she is due in about a month or less now. In all honesty, she saw it coming, we had discussed it over the weeks that had recently passed, but I do not think she knew it would be so soon. Lots of us did not. One minute I thought the job was going to happen, one minute I thought it would not happen and it would be July (when my boss returned from maternity leave) that it would happen. But, life, it is unexpected and throws you some curve balls and opportunities you cannot pass up. This is one of those times that if I did not jump on something and make it happen I would've felt stuck until July when my boss returned from maternity leave. I knew deep in my heart that I could not do that to myself and I had to make a move sooner rather than later. I hope people understand, I hope my job understands why I am doing what I am doing. I know they do deep in their hearts, but I am sure that doesn't make the sting any better, they thought they had commitment from me for longer than this I think, but it just happened.

This time I really just stuck myself out there and thought about myself only and what I felt was best for me. I have a tendency to be "comfie" in something and feel like I can stay forever, but I needed to allow myself to do this and feel good about it overall. And I do. I was rounding my five year anniversary in my company - what an achievement, what an accomplishment and I feel like I have given my whole self to my job during these years and I thank them for all they have given me in return. I wish them nothing but the best and know our paths will cross again. I have definitely made many lasting relationships at this company and I plan to continue those as I move to Tampa, just in a different capacity.

As much as I am going to miss my job, I am excited for something new and adventurous. In the medical field, something that I have always wanted to get into, it just wasn't the right time when I got a job offer from McKesson a couple years ago. Now, I will be working for a company that does billing for tons of Pathologists and it is going to be so exciting to work in a different role and use my skill sets to help mold a new position they have created for me to work in. It is stressful to know this is a new position, but it is also wonderful to know I have the chance to really take something and run with it. That is a dream come true.

I plan to really work on ME when I am back in Tampa. I am ready to focus on my health and ME overall. I need to focus on me and getting back to a good place. I have always been a happy person, but I noticed that I need close family and friends around to help support me in achieving some of these goals and I think being back in Tampa will help my happiness and help me plan for a happy and healthy future. I want to find that special someone, of course I do, but I need to work on me first and be happy with me before I can make someone else happy and have a family. Being around Emma more has really reminded me how badly I want a family of my own one day. I love being an Aunt and I love being happy for all my family and friends getting married, having children, but I want that for me too. I am 28 years old and have really not dated anyone too seriously in 5 years now and it is time to get back in the saddle again as soon as I am 100% good with myself. I hope as soon as I back into a routine and getting healthy again, I will feel complete and things will fall into place even more. That is really the key to all of this, things are starting to feel like they are falling into place and I see the light at the end of the tunnel - the first step being getting back to Tampa. I know, I know, people say - the grass is always greener, but that is not what this is about. I know nowhere is perfect, but Tampa is home for me and it just took me a long time to figure that out. I fought it and fought it, but you just can't fight fate.

Well, this is it, here comes goodbye and here comes a new chapter of my life that I am so excited to start and share with everyone. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful memories to carry with me forever from living and working here in Atlanta. Thank you to all my friends and family who made my life here in Atlanta so wonderful and enjoyable. I carry all of you in my heart and will be back to visit lots! Thank you to everyone who has been there for me through everything and believed in me and who I am. Most of all I appreciate everyone being there and happy for me in starting this new journey in my life.